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Category: Podcast

5 Things I Love About L.A. [Bonus Material]

Brian’s blog yesterday gave a Michael Vick-like view on dogs.  Many animals expressed disapproval.  It’s okay.  Sit.  Stay.  Listen.  You’re in for a treat.…

“In Deformation, We trust”

To the congress that just reaffirmed the USA motto, I will be sure on this day of plentiful thanks, a day when there is so much thanks…

My First Blowjob


My dick is bigger than yours!” Collin exclaimed, folding the tips of his fingers over mine. It looked like the scene in Tarzan when Jane presses her dainty palm against the wild beast-man’s hand. “Your dick is the same size as your middle finger. See, mines bigger than yours, a lot bigger. You have a small dick,” he explained, showing its alleged size with his thumb and index. Since this was a gross overestimate, I remained silent, not sure if I should correct his mistake.

So what were you in high school?

Nirvana and Marilyn Manson patch on the white out painted backpack … you were Candace the “I don’t care” hesher girl. Over weight and jolly…

Cat Calls

Calling people is weird. So glad we text stuff now. Talking in real time gives me the willies. I feel like I should have flash cards or a TiVo remote in case I don’t know what to do. But some people are pros at it.

Dear JAC, Two Castrations Please

Dear JAC Bus Company,

I write to you in hopes that two people will be castrated and stricken from the employee records of your company, and with any luck, stricken from the human record for all of time and space.

Allow me to set the scene so you can sympathize with my wanton desire to remove testicles…

My First Date

I’ve decided to jump back into the world of online dating. I joined in hopes of finding the perfect : fun loving, adventurous, down to earth, easy going, outgoing, passionate about music, loves to go out but also enjoys staying in, sassy and smart, new-to-this-whole-online-dating-thing-and-still-thinks-it-weird-but-thought-she’d-give-it-a-try girl. I chose over some of the free alternatives like Plenty of Fish because I appreciate the commitment it takes to give out your credit card information and spend 25 bucks a month to find love.


9 Things I Hate About Walking

There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that I am, by far and away, the fastest walker in Santiago. And to take advantage of…

Bolivian Visa Run

One of the luxuries/drawbacks of being a quazi-illegal immigrant with a UK and USA passport living in Chile is that you must collect another tourist visa every 90 days. Combine this obligatory task with a love for adventure and mayhem and you have one happy Luke. My method of travel is to arbitrarily elect a “must do in my life” goal, then make absolutely zero effort with regards to planning or preparing for that goal irrelevant of it’s very possible dangers and pitfalls, and then head off in what I believe to be the right direction. Well a few weeks ago I decided to renew the visa and complete a “must do in my life goal” of climbing a 6,000+ meter mountain (roughly 20,000 feet) in the very beautiful and challenging Bolivian mountains.


I do not consider myself an evil man. I open doors for the ladies. I will cross a busy highway to help a wheelchair up a curb. I don’t step on cracks to avoid breaking my mother’s back. In general, I love everything and everyone on this planet and do my best to contribute to our continued growth and development. But one hilarious and cruel evening, I faltered. This story is about the time I anti-poisoned Grant.

This page puts it rather well …