A handy dandy list for living in the greatest country on Earth.
– DO marry a 16-year-old if you’re 50.
– DON’T marry a consenting adult of your same gender.
– DO separate church and state.
– DON’T actually separate church and state.
– DO drink alcohol and throw a table through the window.
– DON’T smoke marijuana and sit at home laughing at the wall.
– DO share your teen pregnancy on national television.
– DON’T provide children with proper sex education.
– DO vote.
– DON’T worry, it doesn’t always count.
– DO buy food from a Walmart Supercenter.
– DON’T ask what’s in it or where it came from.
– DO cut social programs that help struggling families.
– DON’T tax the wealthy! They’ve got more boats to buy.
– DO hire foreigners for a low wage then kick them out for being aliens.
– DON’T allow foreigners to legally immigrate to our country and pay taxes.
– DO bring your machine gun to the mall!
– DON’T discuss gun control in the White House; it’s not the right day, OK?