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Month: December 2010

The Other Side of “The Most Scared I Have Ever Been”

A year ago I posted a story about The Most Scared I Have Ever Been which recounts a night when I was the victim of an incredible practical joke that could only be compared to a Food and Drug Administration raid on an organic chicken house not giving their constituents enough sunlight and/or over starched chicken feed. Well my story was very one sided, but fortunately one of the “raiders” has been kind enough to send us his version of the story. Thank you so much Joe. (Joe is also infamously known in the first haircut bet.) Please enjoy Joe’s story as much as I did.

Why My Dad Hates Street Luging

At the age of 16, my adrenal gland was raging at 170% capacity and was regularly known to spew out the back of my neck. I was the designated bike jump tester, my (mom’s) truck had been to the vertical extreme several times before I crashed into two parked police dirt bikes in the middle of the hills, my face was pocked with copper BB rounds from the eye-protection-free BB gun wars we had behind my house, I almost dropped all my money in semi professional paint balling, surfing, snowboarding, hiking, mountain biking, snow fights, judo, and most pertinent to this story… street luging. Here is how I lost all the skin on the left side of my body.

The Time I Almost Ran Over My Girlfriend

I couldn’t take my eyes off the dance floor. A pair of legs kicked in the air, accompanied by a flailing skirt and a half screaming, half laughing sound. Brandy attempted the “dip” but failed the second part of the move where your partner is supposed to bring you back up. She lay with her back flat on the ground and her feet bicycle kicking the air as if she mocked Madonna circa the “Like a Virgin” tour. I followed her heels, down to the back of her thighs, down to her two ass cheeks that jiggled around like an unbroken water balloon dropped on the floor. My friend Ryan and I observed this drunken spectacle from a nearby table with my girlfriend Laci. I looked over to see if she caught me leering, then gave a fake laugh like the time I got my first lap dance and the stripper told me her boobs were too big for her bra.