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For Sale: Ball Breaking Speed. $5000

And to those who do not have balls to be broken… labial lip flapping velocity. This Suzuki GSXR600 will change you, and anything you choose to put on top of it, into a long stretch of blur as you dart through the endless traffic of life.

Just imagine this rumbling between your legs.

With only 12,000 miles in five years and a new rear tire and chain, you can be sure that your next Saturday and Sunday will be wasted in “advanced” traffic school because you thought it to be normal to wheelie over a bump in the middle of the intersection and catching air in front of Costa Mesa’s finest, who was quite rightly upset and very vocal.

I have replaced the rear assembly with an illegally low profile version which will surely be a hit with the cop after you weave through traffic down a curved hill in Newport Beach.

The brakes are immaculate and will Wow any onlooker as you pull over so fast that the cop has to park in front of you, then roll down his window, and wave you in front of him.

And finally the piste de resistance, frame sliders attached to both the left and right side to ensure that your trip to 178mph, after you happen to merge onto the 73 freeway at the same time your competitive bastard of a friend is passing by instigating an immediate drag race to Bison, will be as safe as humanly possible.

For $5,000 you can guarantee to be the fastest thing on the road at any given time. No one passes you, and if they try, you make sure to show your disapproval as you front wheelie stall up to the drivers side window at 90mph and look over at him with your blacked out skull helmet. Your dominance of the road will be instilled without question or resistance.

Check it out at or email me at [email protected].

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