They say Saturday is the Rapture. I, for one, am sure they are right. But if Christ Himself fails to show up, we will pick up His slack (as usual). Sigh. That guy is late for everything.
So if you have not Raptured by 7pm Saturday, you are invited to attend Our Thursday’s blasphemous story reading in Orange County. We are much less discerning than most fundamentalist religions. We will take the scraps of those who were not Saved.
Miracles to be performed: I will turn water into cheap beer. Danielle will feed the entire crowd with only 2 loaves of bread and a can of Chef Boyardee. Brian, who died on Thursday, will be resurrected in the flesh. Dave Glenn will deliver a sermon on top of a mountain of trash. Luke will be beamed in from Chile.
But I can, absolutely, promise parables, stories, and laughs.
The event will be strange, weird, and a demonstration of humanity’s undeniable will to know itself, for better or worse. Bring some extra food and drink.
You can find event details by checking the Our Thursday Facebook page or contacting one of the authors.
If you have been Raptured or are busy Rapturing, please don’t forget about those of us down here who chose not to leave anyone behind. In the bizarre case that I am Raptured against my will, feel free to let yourself in and party in my absence. My record collection is small but smart.
See you Saturday, you hopeless sinner.