I recently got into an argument with a friend trying to defend one of my new favorite shows. LOST. While explaining to him that it’s basically the reason I started a netflix account, he gave me a look. It was a I haven’t seen 2 minutes of the show but I’m going to formulate some kind of opinion on it look.
“LOST is just Gilligan’s Island on acid”, he condescendingly explained to me.
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A problem some men might run into is dick trickle. This happens after you pee and you think you are done, you close up your pants, but the last remaining urine finds its way out onto the inside of your underwear. We come up with all sorts of ways to avoid this, the most common being thrashing your penis around trying to shake it all off, but sometimes this is not entirely effective. Here is how I do it…
It was my first time ever using a fake id at some bar in Newport Beach. It was a spontaneous decision to go. So spontaneous that I went as I was which on this particular night meant that I was not wearing any underwear. The shorts I was wearing have since deceased but were maybe the best pair I have ever had. I always seek shorts that I can reuse over and over, can swim in since they dry quickly, have good pockets, and rest above my knees. In many of my travel pictures, I am wearing these shorts as a constant reminder to their greatness. One problem however with these shorts was they would show fluid very easily, VERY noticeable. After returning from the bathroom my friend Dave made sure to point this out to everyone and we had a good laugh. I eventually went to the bathroom and it happened again. Now I was self conscious of this fact and made sure to try and hide it. But being ever awware, Dave noticed again. But this time he told me something that I will never forget for the rest of my days.
“To not get dick trickle, just close your eyes once you think you have finished, and imagine yourself walking. Preferably in a serene place.”
My next trip to the bathroom I tried this out and it worked! So if you are ever peeing next to me and notice that I seem to be extremely enjoying the moment with my eyes closed and a smug smile on my face, don’t worry, I am just walking in my mind.
Ever wanted to sell anything? Well I thought I would give it a go and sell myself. Not like a prostitute, although if the price was right… But never mind that, The shop is now open and if you fancy yourself a pair of laser enhanced eyes or some quads with a cycling tan line, then this is just the thing for you. If there are any requests for other things that you would like added to the store, feel free to let me know.
If you would like to sell anything yourself, be it your body or some sort of actual object yourself, feel free to contact me. I will be happy to help!
So as I stumble through life trying to make sense of what exactly it is that I am trying to accomplish, I absolutely love hearing stories of how other people are dealing with that very same experience. Even more so when it doesn’t involve the all too common answers that I have heard back in the responsible world of the United States. Well The Soccer Project is a perfect example of an alternative to our preprogrammed career paths. Luke and fiancé Gwendolyn are traveling the earth playing pick up soccer and videoing themselves as they do it to share the cultural experience and adventure with the rest of the world. After plugging away at college soccer and never really taking it to the professional level but not wanting to give it up, they decided on this journey. They are several years into it and have had plenty of support although I am sure they could use more financial support. They recently won a MAC competition giving them $10k and a slick new editing setup and I highly recommend going to the website to watch the teaser video. It must have seemed so simple initially: I like soccer, I like traveling, lets make a video of the two. Damn it, why didn’t I think of this idea? Luke, my arch nemesis according to mutual friend Gaby due to our names, opposite skin tones, love for soccer, similar humour, etc, and his fiancé Gwendolyn are absolutely marvelous people and deserve the notoriety and experiences this project has brought them. I wish you much luck and look forward to seeing you at the next Asado.
http://www.thesoccerproject.com (I think the web page has different videos than the youtube one below.)
It’s a week before my senior show. If my roommate comes back from Vegas early he will have a heart attack from seeing the shape our apartment is in. Dirty dishes in the living room, tubes of paint and brushes scattered around the kitchen cabinets. It would not be unusual to see something like a dirty shirt, a half eaten bowl of top ramen and a stack of notebooks and papers all lying together. I like to think of it as controlled chaos. It may look like a mess to an outsider, but I know where everything is.
After 48 straight hours of painting I decide that my brain needs a rest. Being in art school is kind of like being in Vegas. You have no set schedule and no real concept of time. I look over at the clock to see what number it has. 1:00. I look outside my window and given that it’s dark I assume it is 1 a.m. I call my friend Vivian to see if she wants to see a movie with me. It takes a little convincing but she decides to come by after I promise her that popcorn will be involved. This turned out to be a grave mistake. (more…)
From about age 6 I had always been playing football (soccer). It dominated my life for the next 15 years or so and I was quite happy to allow that. My time on the field started to wane when I began traveling the nation for my ex employer IBM. Six days a week on the road is not conducive to exercise or organized sports and as a result I gained quite a few kilos. I think I weighted over 90 kilos at one point. (multiply by 2.2 for your inferior “standard” weights system) I decided this was not acceptable and decided to join my friends in triathlons to get back into shape. It was at this time (two years ago now) that I found out that I had to give up football for the rest of my years as those trixsy doctors diagnosed me with osteonecrosis which translates to BONE DEATH!
Last night as I lay in my aunt’s house in Norway, I had two very memorable dreams. The first one I believe to be easy to decipher and the second one is not so easy but seems to be following a recurring theme I am having in many of my dreams. I will try to briefly describe the dream and then give my analysis which I have been avoiding in some of the last dream blogs.
I love jokes but truth be told, I do not know all that many. I wish I knew seventy six jokes that I could rattle off at any given moment and all were equally hysterical and forced heads to turn within fifty yards and quarters to be thrown my way. But alas, this power I do not hold. However I do love story telling. With some wiley hand gestures, well timed connotation, and creative diction, you can hold a crowd riveted for ages. I try to make use of this as much as possible in my life, and as many people might be quick to point out, many times I do not really even have a point to what I am saying. I just keep talking to keep the listeners distracted while I am thinking ahead to figure a way out of the conversational conundrum I get myself into frequently. Well my favorite joke is a story which I will tell here. Depending on the situation, the language, the people, it can always be different but that is why I love it so much. A similar premis to the all too infamous Aristocrats joke as made famous by many a comedian. I call my joke “A walk on a beach…”
step 1: Come up with a name for yourself that lets everyone know how much you rock.
step 2. Find a way to mention your name in every song
step 3. If 5 minutes have gone by and you haven’t reminded your audience how awesome you are, be sure to tell them again. (more…)