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Author: Luke

Wanderer, ponderer, cycler, adventurer. I suggest you read a few more blogs if you want to learn about me.

www.lukeollett.com

Listen to www.roachclipradio.com!

The computer science lab at the University of California, Irvine was a clinical and unpleasant place. This lab was an extremely long room filled with rows and rows of computers as far as the eye could see. The floor was raised to accommodate for the 4286 miles of cables that were underneath it and there was a perpetual droning sound that I believe to still be making a ruckus in my head. The people that spent their time here were, in general, a bunch of douchebags. They would put blinders over their screens to make sure no one was copying their code. They would make snorting sounds and slosh around in their troughs while they grunted at somewhat hilarious images of sesame street or Rogan’s Heros. I hated going to this place but it forced you to work and even with blinders on, you could still maneuver your set of mirrors in such a way to read the screens of those bastard rapscallions. One long night, frustrated over the fact I could not find a freaking semi colon somewhere in my code, I paced the hallways. I happened to notice a guy who was slouched all the way in his chair, only his back was on the seat while his hands were on the mouse and keyboard, obviously not hiding his screen. And he had no reason to, he was bouncing his head and tapping his fingers as he was scanning some website trying to find music. It just seemed odd so I had to enquire.

My First Bike Race in Santiago Chile

As I prepared to move myself to Santiago Chile, I frequently told people that I planned to “inject myself” into the cycling scene and eventually “dominate.” Well after almost two months, six trips to various bike shops, and countless kilometers, I finally injected the scene. However, I think in the end, the scene did not like me sticking it with sharp objects and turned around and bitch slapped me to the other side of the road. Here’s how it went down.

Help Beautify Stokes Croft in Bristol, England

When my dad married his brother’s ex-wife, my cousins become my brothers in law. Co-bros or brosins, whatever tickles your fancy more. My entire life I have been a distant relative to my European family as I was living in southern California. But my brosins hold a special spot in my heart and they need help. Please read on to learn more.

Eudaimon Stokes Croft

Why I Should Not Own A Camera

I like to think that I am a good traveler. Like the chameleon, I can blend into almost all situations. People always struggle to guess my origins and I frequently get told “You look French. Wait! Maybe Brasilian. If not Brasilian, probably Swedish.” From doctors to marketeers to writers to wrestlers to strippers to evangelicals to politicians, we always have something to talk about. In 26 years of moving around on this earth, I do not have too many truly negative stories from my travels. A few forgotten passports or missed buses which incurred severe charges on various credit cards or the occasional over priced excursion. But never anything to write home about. However, a recurring negative theme in my travels is the fact that I lose my camera.

My First Days at University of California, Irvine

I do not like to suggest to people how they should live their life nor do I go out of my way to tell others that they are doing things wrong or they could be done better. Listen to this if you want some suggestions. One thing I do press on many people, however, is to be educated and this cannot be accomplished any easier than by going to university after high school. It doesn’t matter what your chosen field of study is, just go. Whilst rummaging through my Grandfather’s house in England, I encountered an email I had written to my family in England shortly after I had begun my days at University. Below is the word for word transcription of what I was learning…

Vote Luke for Supreme Leader

It was that time of year again at Simi Valley High School to prove who was the most popular and well liked. Student body elections. I do not think there is a need to go into great detail of how this process works as it has been done by almost every teenage TV show and it has definitely been done by “Saved by the Bell” at least five times, including the “college years” period of that influential TV show. In brief, these elections allow the student body to elect fellow students to facilitate as puppets and spies for the faculty so the proletariat (students) do not start thinking they have no control over their schooling. To be president does not give you any power other than saying you are president and you can put it on your university applications. This time of year irritated me and something had to be done to illustrate the ridiculousness of it all. So I concocted a plan.