Leading british cyclist, Bradley Wiggins, with smooth legs

If you go to any cycling race, you will be hard pressed to find someone who has not removed all the hair off his body or at least their legs. It is just the way us cyclists do it. The official reasons for us to shave are 1) Should we crash, skin is easier to be repaired without hair to be ripped off every time you pull the tape off. 2) When you are receiving a very strong massage, you don’t want hairs to be pulled as your hot masseuse is finding that deep tissue in your upper leg. 3) A 2% efficiency gain due to wind resistance.

The first two reasons above cannot really be argued but I am sure there are some people a little hesitant about the validity to the third point. It would be almost impossible to prove this under real race circumstances and for each rider it might be different. But in the sport of cycling, when you are sitting in relatively the same position for hours and doing a repetitive motion tens of thousands of times, the slightest efficiency gain can prove to work dividends over the long run. In the triathlon world, they call these things “aeros” and there are all sorts of things you can do to help you shave (no pun intended) seconds off your time. In the picture to the left, Bradley is using a disc rear wheel which is one of the largest aero savers as well as the lay down bars he is using. I have been told that a small change in your seat or shoes can add a mile per hour to your pace which again is a huge distance to over 160km. So why not save 3 seconds and shave your body?

But unless you are getting third in the tour de france, these things really might not mean too much. So there must be another reason why we shave. Narcissism. A competitive cyclist trains for a good amount of hours during which they are specifically focused on making their legs as strong and durable as possible. The minutes before a race, the riders are mingling around straddling their bike and quietly checking out the competition. A competitor with some ripped legs will always instil a little respect. Truth be told, this has nothing to do with the way they perform but it is an easy way to command some respect without even doing anything. Shaving some muscular legs will enhance the visual effect immensely.

I often catch myself staring at my calves as I am walking or doing a squat in the mirror to see if I have any new muscles on the quads.

So why shave the rest of your body? Good question. Imagine you are cutting your lawn and at the back of your garden there is some really long growth that starts to blend in with the regular lawn. At what point do you stop? If I just shaved my legs, I would have this underwear of hair always which would look more ridiculous than had I shaved it all off. Where do you draw the line? You could say that you only show the lower parts of your legs so why do the rest? Well I do have to see the rest and that would just be weird for me.

I shave my whole body minus the butt and lower back. Fortunately I am not that hairy in those areas and I do not see those areas really. I have a few friends who enjoy the pleasures of a good butt licking, and to them I say, for shame. But more to the point, who is this girl not minding a hairy butt hole because I know these friends are particularly hairy people. I think that a girl should be trimmed in the front, doesn’t have to be everything but it at least needs to be tended to and kept short. I think the stimulation during a good round of sex between two well trimmed and clean people is far better than the hairy cave man/woman route.

I do use hair trimmers for my shaving and not a razor, to save time as well as avoid the extremely uncomfortable stubble stage. When that hair starts to poke out of the skin, it can be brutal on cycling clothing, another persons crotch, and to yourself since you want to itch always. Keep it short, but keep it soft.

I have helped Charles wax his back in the past but I think usually he argues that girls love a soft hairy man. I am not so convinced. Thoughts?

When you sit in a chair that you are wider than, do you notice the handles digging into your skin? Like on an airplane, you dont have a choice, so you just squeeze in, but what I wonder is, are you really “squeezing” or does the feeling just not register since it is really fatty skin? I would think you feel it but are just forced to deal with the situation.

Are you aware of how wide you are? Do you frequently knock cups and things off tables walking around? Reminds me of a cat. Their whiskers will always grow as long as the cat is wide to make sure they don’t stick there head inside things that the rest of the body wont fit through. Do you have an equivalent? I think whiskers are also used for balance as well which brings to mind the idea about if you have a consistent shifting of weight or would you say it is more reminiscent of a fluid going back and forth. Imagine a ball half filled with water and you were trying to roll it around.

I am no doctor, but I am almost positive that the asshole should not grow proportionately with your weight. Are your shits extra long or large to accomodate the extra food? Does it drag along your ass skin as it drops into the toilet? Would you prefer a big basined toilet bowl to help allow your self to spread your butt cheeks apart? Do you have an arm extension to be able to wipe your ass? Sort of a trash picker upper thing but with a double bend in it is what comes to mind. Guess this could double as a back scratcher as well.

Do you get random chaffing on parts of your body from skin rubbing next to eachother? And how do you stop this? Probably just use small bits of lotion or vaseline in the high friction areas.

Can you apply deodarant in an armpit by the same arm if the other one doesn’t reach over? I think an easy solution to this would be a deodarant stick but not the kind of stick that is advertised on TV. I am thinking of a stick with an adapter to put any type of deodarant on the end and it sticks about 3 feet up in the air so you can just walk over to it and apply to each arm by rubbing down on it with your arm in the air and the other arm free to do whatever.

Is it more comforatble to sleep on your front or back?

Are you proportionately strong?

Do you agree that you should pay more for your clothing since you are using much more material than a smaller person? They are doing this in England but with bras.

Have you ever been to the top of the Sagrada Familia in Barcelona?

Is it hard to swim? I am thinking that it would be but maybe it is easier to float.

I can think of more but I am sure I have offended a lot of people especially considering that a third of the American population is considered clinically over weight. However this is not my intention for this blog and I would really love some honest straight answers to my very honest and sincere questions. If you want to yell at someone for making fun of fat people, talk to my friend Xavier, a self described fattist. The English like making fun of me because us Americans are fat, according to them, which may be half true, but it doesn’t help that they say this to someone who is almost always skinnier than they are, and they have such lovely foods like eggs wrapped in bacon and then deep fried, or deep fried fish and chips served in a whole newspaper to absorb the grease, or deserts covered in triple cream, or milk with an inch of cream at the top of the bottle before you open it for the first time. Just get your heart rate above 160 for 30 minutes a day people and you can eat whatever you want. Salud!

First I would like to say that I am pro-choice when it comes to human abortions. How dare you impose your beliefs on anyone else. If I imposed many of my beliefs on you, you would freak out and want to write some nasty comments like some of the people on my original post. I understand the argument of late term abortions, in fact youtube can be very helpful on explaining how they actually do this. I watched one that was a cartoon that actually showed the cartoon baby make a wincing face as they stuck the needle in the back of its neck/head. Having said that, the mother needs to be educated about her situation and make her own decision. Maybe give her this cartoon flip book or something, but at least its better than these stories you hear of babies left in dumpsters.

Growing up I was around many animals and especially cats thanks to my mother. I had a crow that ran away because it could not fly and one day it was gone. I had an african grey parrot that mimicked the sliding glass door opening in the middle of the night and the phone ringing and hated men. I had a cage full of ring neck doves that my cat could figure out how to get into on occasion and close the door behind him. I had a three legged cat we got a garage sale. I had a cat that I specially fed to make it very large. I had a horse that would scale vertical walls while you held onto her tail as she pulled you up. I had a white cat which I loved tremendously and after taking her to a vet to remove the cancer in her ears, which brought her back with a shaved head and no ears (quite the spectacle), she violently shaked in my arms and died looking at me as if I had done somethin wrong from the medicine they had given her. At one point we were breeding ragdoll cats famous for being completely double jointed and outrageously stupid. If you have ever dealt with pure bred animals and their breeding process, you might know that on occasion the babies are not normal. I have seen kittens being born, completely joyous on seeing the outside world, but half their innards were hanging out of their stomach as it had not closed entirely. I hate to think what the haters of my previous post would say if they knew that these kittens were held under water until their suffering was ended. In this case, would abortion be acceptable? I am all for pre-birth analysis with X-ray and DNA tests and all that but please allow me to send the bill your way.

There is a reason cats have litters. Litter being a bunch of kittens, sometimes 2 sometimes 8. It is because for whatever reason, it is tough for cat’s to get to the age of procreation whether it be cars, coyotes, people named nuthead, early pregnancy, cannibalism, feet, or whatever. On top of that, a cat can have a litter every 2-3 months and is happy to take the demanding sex life to accommodate this. The other day I was walking to these ruins in Efes Turkey. On the way there, the path was filled with thousands of little frogs hopping only 2 or 3 times before they got tired. This made for a very treacherous walk as I do not like to step on baby little frogs. However, there must be areason that one little frog birthed hundreds of babies. Because they die easily. By the end of the day when I was walking back, there were tons of dried up frogs that could not get over the curb or some freshly squished ones.

Thank you commente’s, I love your responses and keep them coming.

To Jennifer who wrote “your a murderer of poor helpless innocent kittens…and your smug about it.” …Yes the kittens were innocent but they were not able to move to much to really be able to do anything that would make them guilty, they were not poor. I am not smug, I am being straight forward and honest. I am sure if you asked Mussolini if she thought her still developing vagina and womb could accommodate 4 kittens, she would have said no.

To Alysha, I will conceal your email address but if any wants it I will be happy to give it out. I really hope you keep googling cat abortions or however you found this blog the first time and see this response. Please don’t use capitol letters, it does not emphasize your point, I can assure you. All it does is bring a hilarious image to my mind of you stomping away at your keyboard with one finger as you hold the shift key since you likely do not know about caps-lock. My cat was a whore and the whole neighborhood knew it. Neighborhood, I am sorry for the weeks of torturous cat moans that you had to endure while she gallivanted around. If you look up the word neutered on Wikipedia, you can see the definition to be ‘Neutering, from the Latin neuter (of neither sex ), is the removal of an animal’s reproductive organ…’ So Alysha for that, go fuck yourself, oh wait, I don’t want you to bring in any unwanted babies into this world so maybe you shouldn’t. Go neuter yourself. Especially if your email is going to have terms in it like ‘blazed’, ‘mammi’, and’0422′. The number is not discreet.

To Kourosh, Johan and I were acting on the instructions of certified veterinarians. Johan does and says weird things but he is not at fault in no way in this situation.

To Steve, thank you for understanding and I hope your situation was as equally hilarious and emotional as mine. Maybe you could share a few words about how it went down for you.

OK, with that done, I would like to admit the following. The cat was obviously emotionally altered after this incident and it was clear she knew what had happened. For that Mussolini, I am truly sorry. The problem with a ferrel cat is that they must have babies, that is in their genetic programming. Mussolini was a pro-lifer and unfortunately for her, I don’t agree with her philosophy and more importantly, I was paying the bills and buying her food and material for her to shit on.

So in the end, I am arguing for education to all woman around the world and for all species as well as prenatal tests that can erradicate unwanted pregnancies and genetic deficiencies.

• I am sure this has been prevalent for many years but the concept of having a two party system is pissing people off. This comes from the fact that both options do not exactly get you to jump out of your chair and wave a hockey mom sign.
• This idea that “I will vote for Obama just to make sure McCain does not get in even though I dont really like McCain either.” (This example works in both directions of course.) Another extension of the two party system because people are beginning to realize that their party does not do everything for them but due to the lack of options, they stick to its side. What better way to do this than to vote against the perceived opposition.

Humans throughout time have had difficulty keeping track of anything more than some form of dualism. Good or bad. Light or dark. Rich or poor. Liberal or conservative. etc. In all of these examples there are of course grey areas but these tend to be overlooked by the qualitative extremes. Our political system does just this but instead of having starkly polar politcal opposites to choose from, we have decided to set our political compass in the grey and have chosen two poles that are very similar. The grey areas become the extremes (which should be the poles) and the grey areas occupy only a small percentage of the populace mostly due to the idea that you will be ostracized to leave the afety of the heterogenous political middle.

Two parties have an incredible sum of money at their disposal to promote their party. Any other party that wishes to compete on the equivalent political stage will require an election that proves they can aquire 5% of the vote and then they can receive more funding. This we know would still be only a small step to matching the financial contributions being given to the two major parties. So due to the media financing one of the two major parties only and giving no time/money to any other options that would represent more of a correction to the political system due to its distance from the political middle.

Without even the possibility of a large standard deviation, what we have today will be able to last for a very long time. Any correction in either direction will only make small insignificant changes to the average.

I suggest we reform our political election process to promote equality to all possible political ideas so that they public can make a totally informed decision as to how they want to live their lives as opposed to giving them only two choices, sometimes only one.

Install a campaign funding cap for all parties. If a party raises more than X dollars then the overflow will be evenly distributed to the other qualifying parties that have demonstrated themselves to the nation in the past. This will force parties to focus on political ideas and not spin tactics since their money can only go so far. This will also encourage the reduction of corporate sponsorships of our candidates. Candidates will be forced to develop political answers and not spin tactics to make sure that there message will be heard across the nation. The overflow idea will also grow a change in the American population. Instead of raising money to vote for candidate John, money will be raised to be able to hear new options come from the population, and other candidates. Excess money will be used to indicate to the nation that what you are hearing at the time is not enough and we want more options.

This article explains how McCain pushed for a campaign contribution limit. This was done to make sure that the government could monitor more of the money going into campaigns which is funny since this means that McCain is advocating a bigger government.

And so it goes.