Who Killed Chivalry?
The Top 10 Dos, Portrayed as Donts
I met a nice chap at a wedding not too long ago. We sat next to each other at the reception and chatted briskly about life, or something like it. He seemed charming enough at the time and when he asked me to Mozza for dinner, I gleefully accepted. When I meet a guy and tell him that I’m a personal chef, he ALWAYS offers to take me to Mozza, an authentic Italian dining establishment owned by Mario Batali. It’s the go-to-impress restaurant they all suggest. However, not one has actually followed through on this, but when this new guy asked, I had a feeling he would. We exchanged numbers and I highly anticipated our date to the restaurant I’ve yearned to experience for years.
The subsequent points guide you through the date and the events leading up to it. Boys, please take note of the following, however, notice how “dos” become “donts” real quick.
1. Follow-up Call– He called the day after the wedding to secure a rendezvous for the upcoming Thursday. Persistence and follow-through is always tremendously polite and often times rare.
However, he did not mention Mozza and alternately suggested drinks. From dinner to cocktails on the first date? Not so tremendous or polite. I don’t NEED a fancy dinner, but don’t make empty promises about one.
2. Establishing a Connection– Ok, so we only planned drinks, but he at least showed interest and solidified the date! Thursday, 8:00p.m.
However, while on the phone he spoke excessively about the gym, yoga, work, his swank Beverly Hills apartment, and other red flag topics that I chose to ignore because that’s what I do.
3. Day-Of Confirmation- We agreed on the Bar Lubitsch in West Hollywood, which I had never been to but read loads about in magazines regarding the clientele and extensive vodka menu. I hoped to spot someone interesting and taste something unique!
However, this dude did not offer to pick me up but instead told me he would take a cab! How many drinks did he anticipate consuming?!!?
4. Courtesy Text- “Hey Danielle! Is it ok if we push it back to 8:45? I’m running a little late!”
Me, sarcastically: “Are you running late? Or did your yoga class run late? 8:45 is fine.”
However, he did not sense the sarcasm: “Noâ€¦Yoga was yesterday. But my workout did run late. See you then.”
5. Showing Up on Time- After switching dinner to drinks and then pushing the time back, I purposely took my sweet, precious time to mosey down the street to our little meeting. He called me at 8:45 on the dot and questioned my whereabouts, as he waited alone outside. When I finally pulled up at 8:50, he paid for my valet. Aww, punctual and generous.
However, he scowled at my tardiness.
6. Adamant and Passionate- He undoubtedly had financial stability from his job that he adored. This is an extraordinary feat for a young man and I was thoroughly impressed.
However, he also admired his piece of gum he smacked on aggressively while talking non-stop about fuck knows what, using work-related vocabulary I couldn’t understand even if I asked Jeeves!
7. Knowledgeable Drink Connoisseur- It always tickles me when a man holds vast knowledge regarding food and spirits. As far as I’m concerned, a tasty meal (Mozza) and a smooth beverage (exotic vodkas) aids in the world’s rotation.
However, he clearly took a cab so that he can get wasted off the specialty alcohol Bar Lubitsch shares that he knew SO MUCH ABOUT.
8. Active Interest in Me- After a blabber fest regarding his job and only that, he brought curiosity to the table (along with another cocktail) and asked me questions about my life and career.
However, he probed so deeply that it made me cringe; asking about my last job as a personal assistant even though I told him I wouldn’t answer, yet he pushed the topic anyways. Also, this:
“Soooâ€¦what kind of guys are you typically attracted to,” he questioned while sitting up straight and stocky.
“Oh you knowâ€¦goofy, funny, smart,” pointing out every quality he lacked.
“Cool! Do you think I’m goofy? People think I’m sarcastic like my dad, who works at my company.”
“Ummmâ€¦no, not at all. If you were either goofy or sarcastic you would’ve understood my yoga joke via text earlier.”
“Oh,” he muttered while falling into a slouch.
Also, he interrupted excessively, until I finally called him out on it. “You do realize I was mid story, right?”
“Oh! I’m sorryâ€¦Continue,” he suggested.
“You’re clearly not interested in my stories. So why don’t we finish our drink and get going,” I chugged my water and hailed the waitress (I only drink two alcoholic beverages during first dates) as he downed his fifth vodka soda.
9. Making Certain I’m Safe and Sound- He offered to wait for my car before hitching a cab.
However, that happened only after he asked whether or not that’s the proper thing to do. I assured him that in fact, waiting for the girl’s car, or walking a girl to her car, is indeed the proper thing to do.
10. Follow-up- He shot me a text a week later.
However, it read “Wanna go to a party with me and Irvin?” Who’s Irvin?!
In conclusion, I’m mostly just confused as to what convoluted my normally good sense at that wedding. Perhaps the open bar had something to do with it. HOWEVER, I seldom lack judgment so obvious that it would lead me to this dance. However, I did ignore the yoga obsession, cab idea, time and place changes, his constant gibberish phone topics and such, regardless of the mistaken personality at the wedding. However, we should always give people one chance. However, I did experience an awesome new bar outside of Jones, to which I will likely return. However, what if I run into him?!?!
Hmmâ€¦as a regular enabler to such behavior, I guess it is I who killed chivalry, constantly allowing men I date to act without manners, ignoring the don’ts making them benefits of the doubt. However, knowing that I partook in the death of a once precious amenity to dating, I will no longer enable, I promise… Until someone offers dinner at Mozza, of course. (Which will fall through, of course)