A Comparatively Good Karaoke Singer

Much attention has been paid to how being a native English speaker is an invaluable resource in a world where speaking English has become expected in business, politics, and even social situations (in some countries it is a clear demarcator of class and social standing). We’ll not mention that having little material incentive to learn a second or third language results in the Anglo countries not doing so, forever precluding the educational and intellectual benefits accrued by learning another language. However, on the whole the internationalization of English is a benefit to us native-English speakers. But little attention has been drawn to the phenomenon’s effect on the ancient Japanese art of Karaoke.

I like Karaoke, I think that singing to the original instrumental track after a drink or two is super. Even more, it has occurred to me during my travels that my native American-English accent is an asset regarding accuracy and listenability. I first realized this was the case while visiting friends in Japan, Rick and Aiko. They had taken me to the Shibuya District in Tokyo to a skyscraper that was completely filled with Karaoke rooms of various sizes. We rented a small room and two hours of all-you-can-drink, a wonderful little package called No-Me-Ho-Dai (phonetic English, I’m probably way off). Anyway, Aiko, Japanese by birth and socialization, is a professional singer who sings at weddings and other events, who has a truly beautiful voice. Despite this, I received a higher score than her from the alien judges on the TV screen due to my lucid English pronunciation. I think Aiko was a little angry.

Tiny cartoon Aliens may not be the best Karaoke judges.

In Turkey I’ve been to Karaoke several times and love it, and so do the people I’m with. I’m often told at how good I sing the songs, and I am even known by the staff. I take all of this with a pinch of salt since I know for a fact that I don’t have a great voice; a youth with a musician-for-a-brother has taught me that. So I can simply chalk it up to my native pronunciation and amazing stage presence.

There’s another angle too. When I was in Panama I had the managing officer of the Japanese embassy as an English student, and although he originally put forth the pretense of interest in English grammar, it turns out he really just wanted me to explain the meaning of American oldies to him. We listened to countless songs together, writing the lyrics on the white board. When I asked the purpose of his dedication he responded that he wanted to sing Karaoke with more passion, thus he needed to know the significance of the prose. In particular, he desperately wanted to out-perform his boss, the Ambassador.

En sum: Native English accents allow meek, musically inept Anglo-speakers to shine when on foreign soil. Go forth and sing your hearts out.

-Charles P. Pearson

Happy noises are relative.