I get the Look a lot. I’m talking about a particular look that Turks give me when I do something outside of the strictly defined social norms here (my English roommate Steve also reports getting the look in abundance). It is not a tame look. The Look is a mixture of disbelief and disgust; if someone gave you this look you’d think they had just caught you with your junk in the apple pie. “Charlie, what have you been doing?”, you may be asking. Nothing bad, I promise. Ok, once I was beating a dusty carpet off my balcony over a crowded street and got yelled at, but I didn’t get the Look. This is because what I was doing was common, though inconsiderate.
The Look is reserved for breaking social custom. For example, there are no elevator lines in Turkey. It is completely acceptable and expected for a newcomer to try to usurp the queue and get in the elevator first, he or she will even push their way through a crowd to box-out access to the elevator door handle. Anyway, my English roommate Steve had waited a particularly long time for the elevator (or lift, as Steve would incorrectly say), and was in a rush, when the previously stated scenario started to occur. When the elevator came there was only room for one person, and Steve told the line-cutting young man that it was not his turn. Apparently, everyone around and in the elevator gave Steve the Look. ‘Ugh! How dare you! You son of a bitch!’, screams the Look. It is hard to describe its potency.
This is the closest picture I have to The Look (on the left), although i do get the look on the right sometimes too.
The most significant thing about the Look is that the locals use it so liberally. When I first arrived I was trying to figure out what the hell I was doing wrong. I still get the look all the time when I say I don’t like ayran, a beloved salty yogurt-drink in Turkey. Everyone likes ayran, so I must be some kind of degenerate for not liking it. The Look’s intensity, thusly, would lead you to conclude that not liking a salty yogurt drink is on par with smearing shit on the walls. The facial castigation here is intense. God forbid I actually do something bad…
Post Script: I tried to convince my girlfriend, who is Turkish, to pose for a picture while making the Look for the benefit of the blog. She refused. Not only did she not know what face I was talking about, but she was also a little annoyed when I continued to explain the Look. She is convinced that I (and Steve) must have done something to deserve such looks.
-Charles P. Pearson
Merhaba Charlie,
I should let you know that you got the look from me over the computer because of your writing here
Deal with it! I am just joking but, still would like to say something.. I wonder if this ”there is no lift lines in Turkey” idea comes from your ‘experiement’? I mean do you take a time to walk around and do travel in the lifts from different buildings like hospitals, apartments or hotels?.. Or is it just your oppinion depending on the elevator at your work.? I dont usually like to say general ideas, coz I think every single thing in life depends on something.. maybe depends on people, maybe depends on time, or depends on person! So In my oppinion to say this depending on one experience in the same place which is full of students- you must know how rebel and YOUNG they are!- is not that true.. I respect it tho.. it’s your oppinion and it depends on you.. 
An about Ayran
) I do like it.. We( people) tend to think that if we like somethink , it is likable 
So everyone should like it, but its not the truth.. It DEPENDS ON ( Oh god I like this word 
) person! But still I think you have tried ayran in the wrong place or the wrong ayran coz there is two types of it and one is really salty and not that good.. haha you see, I am a human a very Turkish one 
And still think that you may like ayran as I do 
) But good news is I am not giving you the look for not liking ayran..! You may consider your self lucky ha?
Anyway.. just want to drop by and tell you what I feel.. I do appreciate that you take your time to tell the world about Turkish way of life.. Thank you for that..
Oh.. I can write this in Turkish too for your practise if you like
)
Idil, xx
Yes, well thank you for the comment. You seemed to have put a lot of effort into that (particularly the smiley faces).
You seem to have overemphasized points of little importance. Judging the effectiveness of elevator lines and not liking Ayran, of course, are subjective opinions and nothing more. Although I do admire your willingness to question the scientific process of my ‘findings’; but please remember I never claimed my opinions to be anything but… and yes… I’ve been in many elevators and find Turks sense of order rather “different” [yes that is a euphemism] than that of the other countries that I’ve been to. Again, besides the point.
The point is that the Look is plentiful in Turkey. The Look is a manifestation of the strictly defined social code regarding behavior that I imagine comes with a high degree of cultural homogeneity (although I’m no sociologist). What I do know, is by reading your comment, you were incensed by my contradictory opinion of elevator lines and ayran…. apparently I broke social custom, eh?
Smiley faces comes with the leave your comment package, I’ ve done nothing special..
But I did took my time to understand your point of view about Turkish people, and I tought it was the aim of your writing.. Hope I wasn’t wrong..
The point is I just don’t like the idea of being known in a way which I am not. In the end I am one of the Turks using the same elevator with you:) See, I can’t stop smiling, as a proof of I was nothing but curious by your comment. Just curious of what do people think about Turkish way of life.. Coz I know the times, I got the look for just being Turk in abroad sometimes.. Do you think I may have done something wrong to get that ‘the look’?
I may sound offended in my comment which I wasn’t and also don’t think that you broke any of the social custom, fyi.” you got the look from me” part was just a little sarcastic, pls no offence. All do respect I do think that you can give ayran another chance! haha.. everyone deserves the second one, right?
)
Also my offer stands still for posing the look for your blog =)
I, x
Idil,
First, thanks for the picture, it contributes tremendously.
I should admit a few things; first, I have come to like Ayran. When I first arrived to Turkey nine months ago I didn’t, and my account in the blog was accurate at the time. It was just such a good example I had to use it.
Also, please don’t understand this entry as me not liking Turkey, Turks, or Turkish custom. I do, very much. I have chosen to live here. Sometimes as a foreigner, however, you see things from the outside, a little differently than a national might. Some of my best insights about American culture and society have come from my foreign friends. These comments are just some observations.
Lastly, I deserve the Look. Since I am constantly doing stupid and clumsy things here, since i don’t know social norms, I am often making myself the fool. If I were a Turk, I’d give me the Look.
Thanks for reading.
Cheers,
Hey Charlie,
Found your blog through a friend, and I must say, as a Turkish (almost) expat, it’s been an interesting experience reading this post.
Anyway, your “The Look” observation is spot-on. I actually never realized that we (I) do that. I guess it’s one of things that only click in your head when someone else tells you of its existence. Though I can see how the sheer contempt can be overwhelming
I’ll keep reading, if you keep writing
Cheers
Onur, thanks for the kind comments. Ill try to write somethıng of interest.
Cheers,
Hi Charles,How are you,’long time no see’.Yes as a foreigner I am well aware of ‘the look ‘…but even more so of being stared at which is a real culture shock and turns me into a quivering wreck at times.
Perhaps slightly off the subject I just have to say that you correct Steve on the word ‘lift’ instead of elevator ( and I am assuming that it is a joke ) ,but perhaps students wouldnt .
Perhaps that could be the subject of your next blog.
The ‘lift ‘word is used up and down Britain ,I know this because as his mum I taught him ,and my parents taught me.(we are too lazy to use the longer word although it would not raise an eyebrow if used)
When I first came here it fascinated me that many Turkish people spoke good English with an American accent ( and then obviously using common american words ) It was only the other day when my Welsh friend ( who has been here a year ) asked me why so many Turkish spoke American English that followed a lively discussion with a well loved Turkish friend ,and I remembered the time when I was joking with you about Queens English…as many times we have tried to explain to Turkish people we feel that we are not explaining to them properly because they often come back and keep asking more questions .This I know derives from British socio/cultural changes even in Steves life time as Britain was bombarded with American sit coms etc. but his use of the English language is just that ….English .
For us Brits and Americans the different word usage is understood and indeed there has been a lot of published material over the last 20 years or so in the UK on this subject ,at one point becoming quite a hot topic of Britains accents and languages being lost and redefined which is a natural process anyway ,and I believe even the English Oxford dictionary has been revised ,so at the risk of coming across as a nationalistic freak please dont tell an Englishman and his past umpteem generations that he and they are not speaking English !
Lots of love Joannex
Thanks for the comment Jo. I don’t actually think American English is ‘correct’ and British English is ‘incorrect’. Please take my quip as one of love between cultural relatives.
cheers,